


Family Tea Party

by bluejorts



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, elicia has 4 parents and she wants people to KNOW, yeah! im writing fic for something thats not entirely relevant in the year 2018! sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejorts/pseuds/bluejorts
Summary: Elicia Hughes has a Mommy, Daddy, Baba, and an Amma. Maes Hughes has a headache trying to get her to stop telling people that.Alternative title: Geez Elicia Who Let You Have FOUR Parents





	Family Tea Party

It’s reasonably difficult to stop your two year old from announcing to the world that she has four parents. Maes Hughes had spent hours in the past trying to achieve this with Elicia, but she was determined that it was silly to play make-believe about that! Baba was Baba! She didn’t  _ want  _ to call him Mr. Mustang. And Missus Hawkeye was a stupid name! Elicia shouldn’t have to say that, everyone else should just call her Amma too! 

Maes had eventually just given up, so instead they tried to make sure that nobody was around when Roy or Riza came over. It was frustrating, at times, having to give excuses; having to leave early; not getting to see each other. But Elicia was set in her ways. Maybe it would be easier when she was older, but for now she was two. And she had Mommy, Daddy, Baba, and Amma. 

It was a rainy Saturday evening, and one of those rare occasions when Roy had actually finished his paperwork without Riza having to poke at him all afternoon, so the atmosphere was calm. The four parents relaxed on the sofa, Maes and Riza in the middle, with Gracia and Roy leaning inwards. Maes had a hand on Riza’s shoulder, softly working at the tension she kept there. Roy’s head was in her lap (the man had no shame). Gracia was leaning into her husband’s embrace, sketching on a pad in her lap. The radio was on softly, and Elicia was nattering away to her dolls on the floor. 

“Cross, top left corner.” Roy declared. 

“I placed there already, cheater!” Maes scoffed playfully, leaning down to blow in his face. 

“Gross. No you didn’t.” 

“Yes I did! This isn’t mind chess Roy, it’s noughts and crosses, it’s only got nine squares and I can remember where I played.”

Roy frowned melodramatically. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you play dirty for now, Hughes.” 

“Gracia, dear. Remind me how we ended up with these two children.”

“Well now, I’m  _ still  _ not sure how that happened.” Gracia shrugged, jostling the arm Maes had around her. 

“Hey!” Roy and Maes protested in tandem. “That’s rude!”

Elicia giggled at them from the floor. She’d apparently decided that her and the dolls wanted to watch the thrilling game of imaginary noughts and crosses going on with her parents.

“Nought, centre left.” 

“Cross, dead centre.” 

“And that’s a draw.” Riza sighed. “You two are either awful or brilliant at this game.”

“They use the same strategy.” Gracia hummed. “They both try to get three corners.”

“There’s strategy to noughts and crosses?” Riza frowned. 

“There’s strategy to everything if you look for it, Lieutenant.” 

“You only call me that when you’re trying to sound smart, Colonel.”

“Like I said, Strategy.”

“Play again, play again!” Elicia interrupted. Apparently she really did find the game thrilling. Maes wasn’t sure how her mind worked, but it was absolutely wonderful. 

“Very well.” Roy started, before he was also interrupted, by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it I’ll get it!” Elicia cheered. She ran to the door before anyone could stop her, not that they would have. They were too busy scrambling into socially appropriate positions; Maes and Gracia still on the sofa, Roy and Riza stiffly in armchairs on opposite sides of the room. 

“Oh, hey there Elicia, are your parents there?” The unmistakable voice of Edward Elric came. Oh boy. 

“Big brothers! Big sister!” Both the Elrics? And Winry? Ed alone was loud enough to shatter any quiet evening. “Come on, come on!” 

They came in, Elicia dragging Al by the hand. 

“Boys, Winry, Hey! What are you doing here?” 

“Sorry if we’re interrupting something, we just -” Winry held out a plastic bag towards Gracia. “We really love your cooking, and I thought it would be nice to make something as a thank you for having me to stay while I was here without a room.” 

“I did the icing!” Al piped up. 

“It’s my grandma’s recipe, but I could have gotten some of the instructions mixed up. I had Ed breathing down my neck the whole time.”

“I was not! You just wouldn’t let me do anything to help!” 

“That sounds lovely! We should try some right now!” Gracia clapped her hands together, standing up and taking the bag. 

“Oh, really? It’s fine if you want us to leave, we came uninvited and we didn’t mean to interrupt your -”

“Don’t be silly! You made cake, cake is always welcome. And besides, you were only interrupting a boring meeting.” Maes hoped that his overbearing dramatism would distract the kids enough that they wouldn’t think to question why the four of them were in their civvies. “All meetings are better with a cake break, isn’t that right Elicia?”

“Yay! Cake break, cake break. Family cake break!” Elicia sang, skipping behind Gracia who was already headed for the kitchen. 

“Why don’t you kids get comfortable on the sofa? I’ll grab some chairs for me and Gracia!” He didn’t give them time to protest, steering them seated and scampering off to pull chairs in from the dining room. 

“I think we should take our leave, Colonel.” Riza said, voice curt and formal and the  _ opposite  _ of how she was meant to sound this evening. The week had been hard on Riza and she hadn’t relaxed once. Maes had walked in on her having a standing nap in a barely used boardroom the other day, and had made her sit down so that he could give her a neck massage. She’d fallen solidly asleep leaning on him, and he’d just held her for as long as he could. Sure, he wasn’t her romantic partner, but he still loved her, and he would still withstand the back pain of sitting in the same position for twenty minutes for her. And he’d wanted to make sure that today she got to calm down and rest.

“No, Amma! Stay! Family cake break.” Elicia came bounding in from the kitchen and latched on to Riza’s sleeve. 

Ah. There was Amma. Maes gave a pleading look to Riza, a ‘please don’t go’ look that he hoped she would recognise. He gave the same to Roy.

“We can stay for cake, I’m sure.” Roy smiled. “And besides, we do need to finish that meeting later.”

“As you wish, sir.” 

“Yay! Amma and Baba are staying!” As soon as Riza sat back down, Elicia clambered up into her lap to snuggle up. 

Maes sighed and placed the chairs he’d gotten out opposite the sofa, in front of the unlit fireplace. Ed was looking at Riza and Elicia with confusion painted across his features, in the downturned line of his lips and the creases between his eyebrows. Well, drat. 

“So! Boys! Any adventures to report on?” 

“Nothing much.” Al shrugged, armour clanging with that hollowness. “We’ve had a lot of paperwork to do, but not much else.”

“Just looking for leads?” Roy asked, leaning back in his chair and appearing a whole lot more comfortable now. 

“Yeah, but there’s nothing much to go on right now. We have so much to look through, but we just keep hitting dead ends.” 

“So much work talk this evening.” Gracia tutted, returning to the room with a pile of plates, cutlery, and a large and somewhat messy strudel drizzled with a weak icing. It looked as though at one point it had been perfectly formed but had suffered a bumpy car ride in a cardboard box and had come out significantly worse for ware. It smelled absolutely wonderful. “How about you tell us a bit about your grandma, Winry?” 

Winry did, she started on the stories of how her grandma had practically raised the three of them when their parents had died. Once she’d run out of things to tell, and everyone was distracted by how good the cake was, the room fell into a comfortable quiet, with the sound of the radio still wandering about. Elicia was of course the first to finish, with crumbs around her mouth and a plate full of sultanas that she’d picked out of the dessert because she really did not like them but would  _ never  _ turn down cake. She sat down with her dolls and fed them the sultanas instead, because they all liked them even though she didn’t. Elicia also apparently decided that the room was too quiet, and that there wasn’t enough  _ fun _ going on. 

“Big brother Al, play time!” 

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah! Come here, we’re having a tea party.” 

Al, not too gracefully, maneuvered into a sitting position on the floor next to Elicia, at Maes’ feet. Elicia scanned the room, looking to see who else was finished eating. Roy had, and he too had left all his sultanas. He wasn’t usually a picky eater, Maes noted, but there were a few things he simply could not stand. 

“Baba! Family tea party.” Elicia tugged at his trouser leg. “C’mon. You gotta sit down here.” 

“What’s with the ‘Baba’ thing.” Ed teased. “She got you wrapped around her little finger, Colonel?”

Oh dear. Maes froze as Elicia huffed. 

“He’s Baba because  _ he’s  _ Daddy.” She pointed to Maes. “Both of them can’t be Daddy! That would be silly!” 

“Of course.” Ed was grinning like a feral cat. Maes imagined that he thought he had some material here. Something along the lines of ‘oh Colonel, your friend’s daughter calls you Daddy, now isn’t that sweet’. Maybe he could end it there. Roy would be embarrassed forever by the kid, but they could stop him from finding out more. 

“He’s Baba because he’s in love with Daddy, and Amma is Amma because she’s in love with with Baba!” 

...Or, Elicia could just tell the Elrics their entire family dynamic. That was, apparently, something that could happen. The grin fell from Ed’s face quickly. 

“What?” 

“Baba and Daddy are in love! And Daddy and Mommy are in love, and Amma and Baba are in love. And Amma and Mommy are best friends and so are Amma and Daddy and Baba and Mommy! They love each other lots and lots but they’re not in love because that’s different! And today is the  _ best  _ day because I have all my family here! Mommy, Daddy, Baba, Amma, and big sister and big brothers!”

Maes breathed deeply. Apparently, they had to kill a State Alchemist tonight. That wasn’t relaxing, whatsoever.

“Well, would you look at the time! Elicia, I reckon it’s time for bed, munchkin!” 

Elicia pouted up at him, but Maes wasn’t really in a place where he was going to listen to her begging to stay up for longer. He scooped her and her dolls up, and carried her away to her bedroom, leaving her with an audiobook on cassette and her favourite toys. 

The room was stifling when he re-entered it. The radio now felt out of place and out of tune, so he turned it off. And everything felt more stifling. 

“So.” Roy began, eventually. “That was…” 

“Elicia has a wild imagination.” Riza offered. “She likes to think of us as family, much as she likes to call you her siblings.” 

Maes shook his head. The kids weren’t idiots. And if they tried to feed them lies and throw them out the door he knew nobody would sleep well that night.

“This is, ah,” he ran a hand through his hair and offered an embarrassed smile to the teens on the sofa, “not an ideal situation.”

Gracia chuckled nervously and placed a hand on his thigh. “Not really, no.”

“So.” Al spoke slowly. “You’re in a relationship with the Colonel, sir? And so is Lieutenant Hawkeye?”

Roy sighed. “Yes.”

“Well.” Ed stretched his automail arm out in front of him, rolling his forearm and pulling his wrist backwards. “That’s weird.” 

“Yes.” Maes said. “It is.”

“And we shouldn’t tell anyone, because it’s not normal?” Al added. Al was very still, which was slightly infuriating. It was impossible to tell how he was feeling, usually the kid wore his thoughts on his metal sleeve, emotions showing with every slight move of his form. But right then; nothing.

“Yes.” 

“We won’t, then.” Winry’s hands were clasped in her lap. “It’s none of our business, and it’s not like you’re hurting anyone. So why would we tell?” The brothers nodded confirmation, and there was a collective sigh from the adults. 

“Oh, thank God.” Riza muttered, placing her head in her hands.

“What are you all so relieved for?” Ed snorted. “It’s not like we’re saving your lives, or anything.”

“It’s frowned upon to be in a relationship with your superior.” Riza spoke louder. “I could get reposted.”

“And I could get severely demoted.” Roy chimed

“Me too.”

“And I’d have to face the stares of all the women about town thinking my husband was cheating on me.” Gracia said, shaking her head with a worried frown.

“That’s weirder.” Ed sighed. “Why can’t people just stay out of eachothers’ damn business?”

“Lord knows.” Roy was rubbing his temples. 

“We should go, I think we’ve caused enough stress this evening.” Winry said, smiling awkwardly but not entirely uncomfortably, which was a good sign. 

Ed and Al agreed, and after collecting up the plates for Gracia the three were at the door ready to leave. 

“Say,” Ed smirked, “if you’re Elicia’s Baba, and I’m her big brother, does that make you my -”

“Absolutely not.” Roy glared at him. 

“Whatever you say, Baba.” Ed’s eyes gleamed with mischievous possibility as he bolted past his brother and Winry and out into the street. 

“I’m gonna burn you until you’re nothing but a couple of lumps of metal and charcoal, you little brat!” Roy yelled, but there was no real fire to the threat.

“Oh geez. Sorry about him, Colonel.” Al sighed. “Goodbye Lieutenant! Goodbye Mr and Mrs Hughes!” 

“Goodbye Alphonse, you stay safe walking home, alright?” Gracia patted his metal arm.

“I will do for sure.”

“Thank you for the cake, Winry dear.”

“It was my pleasure, Mrs Hughes.” Winry pulled her into a hug. “And your secrets are always safe with us. You don’t have to be scared.” 

Maes smiled, and as they all waved the three off he thought about how lucky they were. And how Elicia would be begging for another family evening soon. 

He shut the door, and as soon as the latch clicked into place Roy was leaning his head on Maes’ shoulder.

“Well, this sucks.” He groaned.

“It could have been worse. That could have been Armstrong.” Riza shrugged, already heading back into the sitting room.

“Yeah, and Armstrong wouldn’t have called me  _ Baba _ .” 

Maes cracked a smile down at his partner. “Oh, come on. You’re a great Baba!” 

Roy pushed off from his shoulder, knocking Maes slightly off balance and instead going to curl up with Riza on the sofa again. 

“He’s right, you know.” Gracia nodded, happily joining in with the teasing to diffuse what was left of the tension in the room. 

“And you know what?” Riza wrapped her arms around Roy’s waist. “I could see him as your son. You’re both so… cocky.” 

“I’m your superior! Why do you always pick on me?” 

“Maybe that’s why.” Maes pulled Gracia down to sit on the other side of the chair. “Maybe once you become Fuhrer the teasing will become unbearable.” 

“Well maybe once I become Fuhrer I’ll make it law that nobody can be mean to me!” 

“I’m willing to break the law for that.” Riza placed a kiss to Roy’s forehead and he melted, relaxing into her hug entirely. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled. “Should we go to bed? Elicia will get upset if she can hear us out here playing without her.” 

“But, there’s cake.” Gracia pointed out. There was indeed cake, half of the delicious strudel still sat on the coffee table. 

“Cake tomorrow? Sleep now?” Riza suggested. Roy agreed, and Maes cut a slice for Gracia while the other two went to brush their teeth. 

“Those boys won’t tell.” She assured Maes, smoothing down the wrinkles he hadn’t even noticed that he was forming on his forehead. “Winry would never let them.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He nodded. “We’re safe.” 

“And even if we weren’t, we would never leave them, would we?” 

“No. You’re right, we wouldn’t.” Maes smiled at her. “We wouldn’t.” 

They followed suit of the others once they’d packed the cake up into the fridge and washed the dishes. Riza was already dozing off, and Roy was spooning her, face buried in her hair. Maes quietly slid in behind him, wrapping his arms around Roy’s bare torso and hooking two fingers in one of the straps on Riza’s vest (it was a comfort thing). Gracia joined, and her hands slid softly under his shirt. He felt warm and safe, happy and tired. 

He was in the realm somewhere between waking and sleeping when the door opened. Light from the hall spilled in all at once and he felt Riza twist around in Roy’s arms to escape it. 

“Elicia? Honey, what’s up?” Roy hummed sleepily. 

Elicia? Maes shifted to hold himself up on one elbow. Sure enough, Elicia was stood in the doorway, clutching a teddy bear to her chest. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Her voice was small, but the late air carried it easily and it filled the room. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Of course not, honey!” Maes sat up fully. “C’mere sweetheart, what’s got you thinking that?”

Elicia scampered onto the bed, crawling over their legs to sit in Maes’ lap. “You didn’t make me brush my teeth before bed. ‘N thats a rule. I thought I’d been so bad you’d forgot - and then big brothers and big sister left and I thought that was my fault too.” 

“Oh, honey. No, of course not.” Maes pulled her in for a hug. “We had to talk about important work with Ed and Al, so we forgot teeth!”

“And they had to go home so that they could go to bed!” Riza added.

“Really? So it wasn’t me?”

“No, silly. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Roy rolled over to mess up her hair, turning Elicia’s frown into giggles. “Now c’mon. Baba’s gonna take you to do your teeth now, and then you can sleep in with us.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, pumpkin.”

Elicia jumped out of bed, more excited to do her teeth than probably any child had  _ ever  _ been. And Roy followed significantly slower, rolling his shoulder and pulling his pants up when they slid down. He really needed new ones, the elastic on those was going.

Maes met Riza’s eye, and smiled. 

“He really is a good Baba.” She whispered. 

“The best.” Maes agreed. 

Roy came back carrying Elicia, who was sleepily bouncing in his arms. He handed her to Riza, who pulled the cover over her and hugged her close to her chest while Roy crawled back in behind her. The room was dark again, and sleep settled in an extra blanket over them. Maes’ thanked God for alchemy. Without it, they’d never have a bed big enough for all of them. 

At some point, Elicia would be too big to fit in it, though, and Roy would have to make them a new one. But for now, she was two. For now, she slept soundly in bed with her four parents. 


End file.
